i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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