You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
