So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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