Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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