oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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