We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
