Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How external is "for external use only"?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
