she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
