I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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