he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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