Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
