its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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