you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
