yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
