This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
