White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
