I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
