just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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