Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
