Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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