You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
