tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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