we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
