it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
