so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
