Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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