she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
