You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
