Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
