my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
