Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
