I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
