How's work?
Spinning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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