hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
