i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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