A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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