just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
