Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it's like iHOP with fire
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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