This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
