you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
