Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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