Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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