are you still at the devil's house?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
