So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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