But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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