yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
