after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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