I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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