I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
