I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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