I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
