Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
