There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
